How Should We Face Our Past Pain and Disappointment?

Katia Adams • May 21, 2020

Terah's Great Loss.

Over the past few years, I've become increasingly fascinated by the account of Abraham and Sarah in Genesis. I've spent more time anchored in that story than ever before and have started seeing things I'd previously never noticed. One of the gems in the story that has been new to me is that Abraham and Sarah's destiny didn't really start with them but with Terah, Abraham's father.

We're told in Genesis 11 that Terah had three sons—Abram, Nahor, and Haran, but Haran died while they were in their land, Ur of the Chaldeans. We're then told that Terah took his family from Ur to go to the land of Canaan, which subsequently becomes quite interesting given that the land of Canaan is what God later promises to Terah's son, Abraham. It's almost as if there was a pull in Terah toward the promises of God for his descendants.

What I find so fascinating about the unfolding story is that, en route to Canaan, the family come to a place called Haran, and they end up settling there rather than moving on to where they had originally set their sights. It can't be a coincidence that the place they settle in shares the name as the son Terah lost. There's something significant the story is trying to tell us here, and I believe it has to do with the need to process our pain and brokenness.

The reality is that areas of pain or past defeats in our hearts become a stumbling block to destiny unless we learn how to process them fully, bringing them to Jesus and allowing both the healing and the redemptive work of the cross to permeate our hurts.

His heart is to bring comfort to pain, to empower us to forgive others and ourselves, and to apply the immeasurable power of grace to our brokenness, so that what would have seemed as loss is transformed into a platform for His goodness.

That's what redemption of our history is meant to look like, where there is no sting from the past, only radical transformation that leaves us open-mouthed and wide-eyed at the overwhelming kindness of Papa.

Jesus didn't ignore His past, neither should we.

I love the genealogy of Jesus in Matthew's gospel. They're not verses that many of us love to read often, but laced in those verses are incredible signposts to the redemptive purposes of God.

There's a reason why the 'broken' parts of Jesus' lineage are included.

Any reasonable or sensible person who was concerned about their reputation would want to hide areas of the past that were less than glorious. Not Jesus. His Word displays the lowest parts of his lineage as highlights. He's wanting us to see them. He's provoking us as we see them. And He's placing a promise before us when we see them.

Rahab, the prostitute, is mentioned. Tamar and her sons—the products of incest—are mentioned. Ruth, a foreigner, is mentioned. 'Uriah's wife', Bathsheba, is mentioned—explicitly pointing out her and David's adultery.

The broken parts are displayed under spotlights for all to see.

Why? Because Jesus loves to show how even the worst moments, the parts that no one would want anyone to see, can be redeemed in the love of God so that what would be a historical moment of shame can become a showcase of the deepest goodness of God.

Don't let your past become a sticky-trap.

The fact is that unless we deal with our pain, we will become like Terah—unable to move past those memories and hurts. They are like sticky traps in our hearts and, no matter how deep we bury them, they will inevitably cause us to trip over them and will disable us from running with abandon into the fullness of our destiny.

Let me encourage you today—don't be afraid of your past.

Don't ignore areas of pain, no matter how deep, areas of brokenness, no matter how full of shame. There is a promise in Kingdom life that everything finds redemption in the cross, and all wounds find their healing. Don't try to keep anything back from encountering His transforming goodness.

I'm so aware that what I'm suggesting isn't easy. It's never easy to come face to face with our own 'Harans' and to have to look squarely in the face of pain and disappointment and hurt. But, unless we courageously deal with our past, we'll never be fully free to enter into our future, and the destiny that God has marked out for us will only ever seem like a pipe dream.

The promises over us are too great, too wonderful, and too life-giving to let them fall by the wayside at the mercy of our past. Let's trust Jesus' heart for us.

He is gentle, and He is kind.

He will not break a bruised reed (Isaiah 42:3) or deal harshly with us. He wants to bring healing comfort to our most profound disappointments so that they no longer have power over us. Let's let Him in. Let's let His light in. It's time to get up from Haran and to start moving towards Canaan.

It's time to be set free.

This post is an excerpt from Seven Keys to Living Big. Download the book FREE.