Leading from a Clean Heart

 

 

Katia: I hope you’ve come ready to do most of the hard work yourselves because, really, what I’m gonna do is lead us a little bit in some training, and then get you to do some things as we go along. So, I hope you’re happy to do that and ready to do that.

You might find it helpful, if you’ve got something to keep notes, you might find that helpful because there’ll be some things that I recommend that you do you keep note of and then we’ll go through praying through those things. So, maybe get your phones out or pens and paper. If you’ve got a great memory, that’s totally fine, I won’t be offended if you’re not writing anything down, but you might find it helpful.

I just wanna say that a lot of what I teach tonight is stuff that I’ve learned, either from the Freedom in Christ Course, which is by a guy called Neil Anderson and Steve Goss, and also from Catch the Fire Leadership School of Ministry, and mostly by the honor, it’s taught there. So, I just wanna give credit to them because a lot of my thinking for tonight’s teaching has come from these guys.

What I’m gonna be speaking on is leading from a clean heart. Leading ourselves, leading our families, leading our communities. And so much of what we’ve been going through in the last few weeks, in terms of getting us to a place of recognizing who God is as our Father and getting to a place of recognizing what our own identity is. And what we’re gonna do tonight is really to get us to a place where we are sons and daughters, living out as sons and daughters of a good, kind papa, and free from some of the things that can entangle our hearts and hinder us from walking into breakthrough and seeing really the kingdom come in and through us.

So, that’s what I’m gonna be focusing on tonight where we’re gonna be looking at three specific areas. And we’ll get into that in a second, I just wanna read a verse from John 14:30 to give us a platform for this evening. But actually, before I do that, let’s just quickly pray because I really feel like tonight isn’t an information night. It really is a night where we need Holy Spirit to be speaking to each of us, to be highlighting stuff that maybe we’ve never even thought of or seen in our own lives. So, why don’t you just pray with me for a second?

Father, we ask you to keep us awake, to keep us alert, and to keep us sensitive this evening, that we would really be able to focus, even after long and tiring days maybe that we’d be able to hear your voice speaking to us. And Holy Spirit, you are the one who sets us free. And so I really I ask, tonight, as we just touch on areas that may seem like hard work for some of us if we’re honest, our prayer, Holy Spirit, that you would make us so sensitive to you that we would see what you are seeing in our hearts. And whatever it is that you want to deal with and help us work through tonight that we would be open to that and that, tonight, this would be a place of real freedom for many, that we would walk free of things that whether we’ve known or not known, but we would walk free, in this room, and we would leave things behind and never need to revisit them again.

So, Holy Spirit, we ask, we were singing it. Have your way in this room. We pray that, we hunger for that, Lord, knowing that information will not set us free but encounter with you will. So, we’re leaning in on your presence and we thank you that you are here. Keep us awake, keep us alert, keep us sensitive. In Jesus name. Amen.

Together: Amen. John 14:30, Jesus is saying, “I will no longer talk much with you, for the ruler of this world is coming.” The Devil is coming. “But he has no claim on me. I do as the Father has commanded me, so that the world may know that I love the Father. Rise, let us go from here.”

I love that phrase, “He has no claim on me.” And really, how Jesus lived is a model for how we are to live. We participate in what Jesus did and how Jesus lived. And so, when Jesus says the enemy has no claim on him, that is something that is a promise for us. If we are in Christ, the enemy has no claim on us.

And I wanna make something really clear tonight. What I’m talking about is not salvation, is not about earning some kind of merit with Jesus so that we go to heaven. If you are in Christ, you are a son and daughter of Jesus, full stop. Nothing can change your status and your position in him, nothing can separate you from the love of God. That’s what the Bible says, right?

Together: Yes.

Katia: So, what we’re talking about tonight is not about earning something with Jesus, is not about getting our way into heaven. That’s already safe and secure if you are in Christ. And if we are in Christ, then the Bible says, because of what Jesus says here, the enemy has no claim on us. That is a done deal. Except if we give him permission.

See, the Bible tells us that Jesus on the cross disarmed the enemy, he stripped the enemy of all of his authority. And we know it, we know the difference. There’s authority is the permission to act, power is the ability to act. So, on the cross, Jesus stripped the enemy of all authority, he does not have permission to act. But he still has the ability to act and if we give him the permission by our agreement, by our partnering with him, then he will have authority in our lives.

So when Jesus says, “The enemy has no claim over me,” that is our promise and that is our portion. But we have to learn to steward that and walk in that. Jesus has given us victorious ground, but it’s our choice whether we live on that ground or whether we give that ground away.

And so, some of what I’m gonna talk about tonight, I really wanna make it clear, I hope that it’s really clear, right from the beginning. This is not about salvation, this is not about earning something. This is about stewarding what God has already given us, which is that the enemy has no claim over us. We stand in a place of authority, he has no authority over us unless we give him permission. Clear?

Together: Yeah.

Katia: Everyone happy? Good. Okay.

But there are three main areas where if we choose not to follow what God has given for us, then we will end up in territory that we don’t wanna be in. And so, we’re just gonna really simply look at these areas. At the end of each area, I’m gonna lead us in a response time. And that’s where the hard work is gonna happen. So, I’m just gonna open up the three areas for us and then I’m gonna get you to do some work through it.

First area. Something that we can get free from is the area of unforgiveness. Jesus gives us three kind of reasons to forgive. The first is in Matthew 6, and it’s simply that he commands us to. He tells us when he’s teaching us to pray, “Father, forgive our sins, as we forgive those who sin against us.” It’s a really simple thing. Jesus teaches us to forgive, he tells us to forgive. That’s a reason to forgive because we wanna obey him, because we trust him, and because we know his rules are good. Agreed? Simple.

Second reason to forgive is in light of the extent of our own debt. So, there’s this parable in Matthew 18 that Jesus says, which I think we’re all familiar with. Where there’s these two servants of a master, and one has a lot of debt, and he comes and he’s cleared of all of his debt because he begs the master for freedom, he begs the master to be freed of the debt. And then there’s another servant who owes this servant a very small debt, and this servant just won’t let it go. And the master is angered by this and he says to the first servant, “Look, I forgave you all of this debt. I forgave you a million rand debt, and then you go and you lock up this second servant for a 10-rand debt.”

And really, Jesus is there saying, “Guys, you need to understand the father forgives you a million rand.” When you’re holding on to your 10-rand debt from someone else, you don’t understand the extent of forgiveness towards yourself.

So, there’s an understanding. First, we forgive simply because Jesus tells us. He’s good, we trust him, we wanna follow his footsteps. Secondly, we do it because we recognize we’ve been forgiven so much. Who are we to stand against someone else when God Himself has forgiven us a greater debt than we could ever understand? But the third reason, I believe, is actually the most compelling, and it’s for our freedom. See, the thing about forgiveness is that it sets us free. If you forgive someone else, it actually does not impact them in the slightest, but it impacts you incredibly. It has life-transforming power.

And so, we’re just gonna walk through why I say this because there’s so much Biblical precedence for this. Firstly, it’s important for us to recognize that unforgiveness is a form of legalism. It’s legalism towards somebody else. When we withhold forgiveness from someone, what we’re saying is, “We want you to get the justice for what you did. We want you to get what you deserve.” Correct? We’re saying, “You did this thing against me. Richard, you were mean to me, and if I am not gonna forgive you, that means I want you to get what you deserve for your meanness, for your cruelty.” Whatever it is. Right?

Problem with that is what we’re saying is, “We want you to live in the realm of the law.” Because the realm of the law is where justice is served. The realm of the law is perfectly just, you get exactly what you deserve for every single action. The realm of the law has no mercy in it. The realm of the law is where you get repaid for all of the things that you’ve fallen short on, which is punishment and death. The problem really, is that you can’t insist that someone else lives in the realm of the law without yourself living in the realm of the law, too. You can’t live in two different realms, it doesn’t work.

And where Jesus comes in, he gives us the ability to live in the realm of grace. It’s a better realm, it’s a higher realm, it’s a beautiful realm where you’re not given what you deserve, you’re given mercy instead. It’s a realm where Jesus isn’t counting all of your shortcomings and then saying, “Right, for each of this, I’ve done the maths and this is what you need to pay up.” It’s a realm where the maths is incredibly…is just wiped out, the slate is clean. Two different realms. We can’t live here, in the realm of grace, towards ourselves, and live here in the realm of law towards other people. It’s simply impossible.

And that’s why Jesus tells us to forgive because he’s saying, “Guys, if you wanna live in the realm of grace, if you wanna live in the realm that’s free, you’ve got to let go of your unforgiveness. If you cling to unforgiveness, immediately, you get sucked down into this realm.”

Now, you can live in the realm of the law and be a Christian, but you’re not gonna be a very happy Christian. And the reason is the realm of the law is the place that the enemy loves. Because the realm of the law is a realm of accusation because you are justly accused. And the enemy’s name is “the accuser.” He loves the realm of the law. In fact, he loves to tempt us into unforgiveness because he knows if he can keep us in unforgiveness, he’ll keep us in the realm of law, and then always, we will justly stand open to his accusation. He loves it. He loves it because then he is able to justly tell us just how bad we are. He is then able to justly stake all of his hatred on us and stop us from walking in freedom because he knows we’re stuck in the realm of law until we let go of that unforgiveness, and then we can live in the realm of grace again.

It’s a profound thing because he lies to us and he tells us unforgiveness, really, is making us powerful. It makes you feel like you’ve got control. You’re like, “I’m withholding my forgiveness from you, huh.” Well, the person, first of all, is entirely unaware of that. So, it’s not a place of control at all or power. And actually, it’s a place where you submit yourself to the enemy’s power unwittingly often, unknowingly often, sometimes scaringly knowingly, but we prefer to hold on to that unforgiveness.

But I really wanna encourage you tonight, guys. Let’s let go of unforgiveness. And look, forgiveness is not about saying that that thing that happened wasn’t terrible. That’s not what forgiveness is. Forgiveness is not about belittling this thing done against you. But forgiveness is about looking at it square in the face, acknowledging the terrible pain that some of the things done against us have caused, but then saying, “I’m gonna choose to set me free. I’m gonna choose to put myself in the realm of grace because I don’t wanna live in a realm when I’m easily accused. I don’t wanna live in a realm where the enemy prowls around like a roaring lion. I wanna live in a realm that the enemy simply does not understand. Where the enemy is entirely paralyzed to move because he doesn’t know what to do in the realm of grace because none of his accusation makes sense. In the realm of grace when he comes to you, tells you you’re awful and you’re a sinner and you’re rubbish, you are so connected with Jesus in the realm of grace that it’s laughable because you are like, “Any accusation that even made sense before doesn’t make sense now because you’re talking about Jesus who died on the cross for me. It’s all gone, it’s all buried. You’re talking about a man who was dead and now I’ve been raised in Christ.”

And so, tonight, we’re gonna do some work on unforgiveness. And we’re gonna ask Holy Spirit to open up our eyes and to touch on our hearts any people who we may not have forgiven in the past. And you might be surprised by some of the people that come to mind. I wanna encourage you, even if you’re thinking, “Really? I don’t know, I’m not sure.” Work through the process of forgiving them because if there’s anything that the Holy Spirit is highlighting, then we wanna just quickly deal with it and let it go so that we can be in a place of freedom.

You know, in Galatians, it talks about falling from the realm of grace. And it says this, “For freedom, Christ set us free. Stand firm, therefore. Do not submit again to a yoke of slavery. Look I, Paul, say to you that if you accept circumcision, Christ will be of no advantage to you.” Circumcision was their main source of legalism in that day. “I testify again to every man who accepts circumcision, that he is obligated to keep the whole law. You are severed from Christ, you who would be justified by the law, you have fallen from grace.”

It’s a terrible description of what we’ve been talking about. Holding on to legalism will always mean that we fall from a realm that we want to be in. And unforgiveness is a major part of that. So, we get to choose which realm we wanna live in.

2nd Corinthians says, “Anyone whom you forgive, I also forgive. Indeed what I have forgiven, if I’ve forgiven anything, has been for your sake in the presence of Christ so that we would not be outwitted by Satan.” Forgiveness is a form of spiritual warfare. It’s a form of actually outwitting the enemy who’s trying to outwit us.

And so, tonight, we’re gonna do some spiritual warfare, you and I. And look, forgiveness, sometimes you forgive the same person 100 times, that’s okay, but it is us, consistently, coming to Jesus and saying, “Yet again Jesus, I set them free because I’m setting me free.” And yet again, we choose to submit ourselves to the realm of grace, rather than submitting ourselves to the yoke of the realm of the law.

Okay, so some warning signs…just before we do some of the work ourselves, some warning signs that you might be living in unforgiveness.

Firstly, you have loads of accusation in your head. If you’re someone who lives with accusing thoughts constantly, that is, you just can’t seem to shake it. All day, every day, you’ve got words about how rubbish you are, all the things that you’ve done wrong. If you’re someone like that, is probably a signal that there are some unforgiveness going on somewhere, because once you let go of that, you enter into the realm of grace and accusation really does stop. It actually, really, is as simple as that.

Secondly, you can’t seem to get into a level of breakthrough in terms of whether it’s healing, whether it’s…whatever it is, kingdom life, there seems to be a constant blockage. And sometimes I get asked to pray for people who come to me very simply and say, “I feel blocked. I can’t seem to enter into breakthrough, I can’t seem to run with grace, I don’t know what’s going on.” My number one question is, “Is there anyone you need to forgive?” And so often, people are like, “What does that have to do with anything?” Well, it’s got everything to do with the realm you’re living in. And kingdom breakthrough exists in the realm of grace. You can’t have kingdom breakthrough in the realm of law, it doesn’t work. That’s the whole story of the Israelites, it doesn’t work. Which is why Jesus came to bring grace.

And so, if you are someone who either lives with accusation or lives with a sense of, “I’m blocked, I can’t seem to get anywhere,” then that might be signals that you need to work through some forgiveness with some people.

So, let’s go for some work. Is this okay? You guys, happy, awake, alert?

Together: Yes.

Katia: Great.

So, why don’t we just all shut our eyes for a moment? We’re gonna do this personally, and then I’m gonna ask you to make a corporate response because I believe there’s power in community.

Together: Yes.

Katia: Listen, I wanna say this is a safe space. No one is watching, no one is taking notes. Every single one of us is gonna have to work through forgiveness and everything else that I talk through tonight, okay? It’s called “being human.”

And so, I really wanna make it open to you. Please, please, don’t be shy of responding tonight for fear of what that might mean or what people might think. Let’s go for freedom tonight, let’s not hold on to this stuff for fear of what our community might be saying, okay?

Together: Yes.

Katia: This is a safe place where we’re all gonna respond at different points, but first of all, I wanna lead you into a personal response. So, let’s just close our eyes. Holy Spirit, I just ask you to come and speak to us. Come and lead us. I pray that you would make our hearts sensitive. Now, I just wanna encourage you, in this space, why don’t you go ahead and ask Holy Spirit, you don’t have to do this out loud, ask Holy Spirit to bring to your mind any person who you need to forgive. And you might see their face in your mind or you might just, kind of, get a sense of who it is, and we’re just gonna wait for a few minutes for this. Holy Spirit be speaking to us

And as people come to your mind…and I’m gonna give a few minutes for this response time. As people come to your mind, I’m gonna encourage you to be specific about what you’re gonna forgive them for. General forgiveness tends to mean that we don’t engage with it fully because we’re trying to avoid the pain. To forgive, we’ve got to process the pain of that moment.

And so, I wanna encourage you, when someone comes to your mind, if the process of forgiveness is to be specific to say, “Jesus, I choose to forgive this person, for doing this to me, that made me feel this way.” That last bit is seriously important because it makes us engage with the wrong that we feel has happened to us. And then I want you to say, “Jesus, I set them free and I set me free to live in the realm of grace as you have allowed me to.”

And so, let’s just do this for a few minutes.

Father lead us in forgiveness. Give us hearts and minds that are sensitive to you.

And some of you are gonna need to process this in forgiving yourself.

Now, there may be things that you are holding against yourself. And in this moment, I wanna encourage you to set yourself free, to forgive yourself for the things that you just feel like you shouldn’t have done or you should have done and didn’t.

Father give us the courage to set ourselves free.

And some of us are gonna need to process forgiveness against God. Now, that doesn’t mean that he’s done something wrong because we know that he is good, but sometimes, we know that in our hearts but we hold offense against him for whatever it is, for things that we’re disappointed for, for breakthrough that we haven’t seen, for people who we lost rather than so healed, whatever it may be.

And so, in this moment, I want us to acknowledge if that’s you. Father, I forgive you for doing this that made me feel this way. I acknowledge that you weren’t in the wrong, but Lord, it made me feel this way, but I release that. I wanna set myself free from living in the realm of unforgiveness and the law.

Now, as we’re doing this, I wanna invite the power of community in this moment. And so, if you’re someone who’s responded in this, not everyone will have, but I know that a lot of us will have. So, I’m gonna wait because I know we will have.

If you’re someone who’s responded to this, I just wanna encourage you to stand. And what we’re gonna do is everyone else is gonna stand with you in a moment and we’re gonna lay hands on you, and we’re gonna pray blessing on you, and the grace of God to rush in where there has been accusation and where there has been lack of breakthrough, okay? So, if you’ve responded to this, if you’ve forgiven anyone in this time, I wanna ask you to stand up.

And most of us are standing, which is amazing, which is wonderful because freedom is coming. And so, if you’ve got anyone standing near you…now, if everyone is standing in your row, then maybe, just put your hand on the person on your right and a hand on the person to your left, and just bless them with the grace of God. Just speak blessing, breakthrough over them.

In Jesus’ name, we speak grace, we speak blessing, we speak breakthrough over each and every one of us in this room. I speak against the enemy’s accusations and the enemy’s lies, the enemy trying to pull us into the realm of law. And in Jesus’ name, we come against the enemy’s words and we say, “Be silenced because the realm of grace provides mercy and provides covering and you have no claim on us, in Jesus’ name, because we stand in Christ.”

And so I speak an onslaught of grace and mercy, of breakthrough and blessing on to each life that has walked into freedom tonight from unforgiveness, in the name of Jesus. Thank you, papa, for your goodness, thank you that this is the realm of grace that you enter us into. Ha, we acknowledge the power of that realm and we say, “Yes, Lord,” to the freedom that you hold to us. In Jesus’ name. Amen.

Together: Amen.

Katia: Okay. Great stuff. Everyone doing okay?

Together: Yes.

Katia: Second thing that can entangle our hearts but God wants to bring us into freedom from, and it is judgments and inner vows. Now, I’m gonna talk through some spiritual laws, and then we’ll go on from there. I just wanna say there are three spiritual laws that I’m basing this on. The first is the spiritual law of judgment. And I’m gonna read some verses. Romans 2: 1, “Therefore, you have no excuse, O man, every one of you who judges. For in passing judgment on another, you condemn yourself, because you, the judge, practice the very same things.” Matthew 7: 1-2, “Judge not, that you may not be judged. For with the judgment you pronounce, you will be judged, and with the measure you use, it will be measured to you.”

Okay, first principle from that. You become like what you judge. It’s pretty simple, that’s what the Bible tells us. Don’t judge because you’re gonna do exactly the same thing that you judge, okay?

Together: Yes.

Katia: Law one, the law of judgment. Law two, the law of sowing and reaping. Galatians 6:7, “Do not be deceived: God is not mocked, for whatever one sows, that will he also reap.”

So, the principle here is that you will reap, in kind, what you have sown. So, if we sow judgment, we will reap judgment that’s heaped on us in exactly the same measure.

So, law one was the law of judgment. Law two, the law of sowing and reaping. And the third law is the law of blessing and honor. And we read Deuteronomy 5:16, “‘Honor your father and your mother, as the LORD your God commanded you, that your days may be long, that it may go well with you in the land that the LORD your God is giving you.” And then Romans 12 extends that from honoring your mother and father to outdoing one another in honor, in all of the community.

And the law of blessing and honor is this, the principle is that honor which is the exact opposite of judgment, is life-giving. Honor looks for the good and lifts it up. Judgment looks for the bad and condemns it.

So, law of judgment, law of sowing and reaping, law of blessing and honor. Very simple laws that this is all rooted on.

And the thing is then if we live in judgment against people, we’re gonna walk in that same thing. And you see this so, so clearly with cycles and families. Ever wondered why abuse follows cycles in families? Well, it’s actually because this law is being worked out the entire time, from generation to generation. So, a son who is beaten judges his father for that beating. But actually, weirdly, crazily, the world doesn’t understand why, but the Bible tells us why. In that very same judgment, often, that repeats itself again and again from generation to generation. The same person who hated his father for doing that thing does the same thing to their own children, unless we see God come and break that cycle in grace. But if we live in the cycle of judgment, we serve it and we reap it in the same kind.

And the thing about judgment is that it often, it has two siblings, if you like. One is inner vows and one is bitter expectations. And inner vows go like this. We look at that thing that we judge and we say, “I judge that, I condemn that,” and internally, we go, “I will never be like that.” The problem is with that inner vow, first is rooted in pride, not in grace, because, “Me, in my strength, will never be like that.” Well, we don’t wanna go there because me in my strength can’t do anything. Frankly, I’m living by Jesus’ strength. And, of course, it’s rooted in judgment, which means you’re gonna reap exactly that which you don’t want to reap. The exact opposite of that vow comes into action.

So, in that abuse victim situation, the son who is abused who is saying, “I judge you. That’s terrible, that is a wrong thing to do,” is also saying, “I will never grow up to do this to my kids.” And then, in a strange turn of events, of course, that very same thing happens. So, that sibling number one is inner vows.

Sibling number two is bitter expectations. And it’s the person who judges and who, kind of, has that vow, then sees the world through that lens and expects that same behavior from everything. So, for example, the person who has a manipulative mother, let’s say. That person judges the mom, “I’m never gonna be like you,” but increasingly, start seeing people as manipulative. Have you ever seen how people who have one thing happen to them seem to be a magnet of that same thing again, and again, and again? Abuse victims. It’s a strange phenomenon, but it’s not strange because it’s Biblical, but it is a strange phenomenon where the same thing, people who get abused seem to be magnets for abuse and it seems to keep happening in their life. But it’s because of this law where they’re consistently expecting that which they’ve judged, they now see the world through that lens and it keeps coming back. Sowing and reaping, sowing and reaping that very same thing.

So, judgement stands with two siblings. Inner vows and bitter expectations. And I just wanna tell you a little bit of my own story in this, because this isn’t theory, this is life for me. So, much of the freedom that I walk in now is because I got the privilege of being in a conference where all of this was spoken about and I came into freedom.

Before Julian and I got together, I was in another relationship which wasn’t even, really, a relationship. It was a confusing two years of my life, let’s just put it that way. And it was one of those relationships that I like to call a pseudo-relationship where you’re in a relationship but you’re not, and no one clarifies anything. And both parties get strung along for a very long time, and it’s incredibly painful. And that’s exactly what happened to me. And during that two years, that was really painful for me, in my early 20s, I also had a couple of people who were very close to me who had got engaged to very well-respected, wonderful Christian guys. Two friends of mine, one in my family, one a friend. Both of them got dumped by their fiancées only a few weeks before their wedding.

And during that time, I started forming what I didn’t realize was a judgment against men in my heart. I didn’t realize it at the time, but really what happened was against the guy who I was in this weird relationship with, and against the guys who I saw broke my loved ones’ hearts, I started judging them. You know, “What kind of Christian are you? How can you do that?” All that kind of stuff. It was judgment. I wouldn’t have said it was, but it was, plain as day, judgment.

And then I started making some inner vows. You know, “I would never treat anybody like that. You know, that’s not a Christian thing to do.” All of that. The sibling of inner vows came out. And then, really, the sibling of bitter expectations, it always comes about, too. That route takes hold, whether you want it or not because you start seeing the world through that lens.

So, by the time I met Julian, I used to have this joke with my friends and we would just, kind of, go…anything that went wrong, we would roll our eyes and go, “Oh, men.” And it didn’t have to be anything to do with guys at all, but it just kind of became this running commentary of our lives. It became this thing where we belittled guys, where we expected guys to be at the foundation of all problems. And it was, externally, a joke, it was, internally, a bitter expectation. And Julian will tell you about our relationship. I made him work really hard. And he says that and he smiles because he’s like, “Wow, she was a great catch,” and he’s very kind about it. But really, some of it comes down to this, is because I had bitter expectations in my heart. When I met Julian, I hadn’t fully resolved what was going on in my heart against guys.

And I was very guarded from him, and I was very nervous that he was gonna do the same thing to me, string me along and then drop me and break my heart. And I was very, all throughout our relationship, really, until we got married, there was this wrestling in my heart of, “Is he being truthful?” And it made his life really difficult because I would be hard work for him and I would accuse him of things and I would say to him…we would have fights where he’s thinking, “What on earth is going wrong with this chick? I’ve told her I love her, I’ve now proposed to her and she’s still, kind of, in this place or wrestling.” But it was because of the bitter expectation.

And when I finally woke up to what was going on, when God was kind enough to show me the judgments, the inner vows, the bitter expectations, really, it came crumbling down very easily. Because once you repent, which basically means breaking agreement, breaking your partnership with what the enemy has lied to you about, with what the enemy has sown in your heart. And look, we like to blame things on the enemy because it’s actually much easier to say, “Oh, it was the enemy’s fault.” Well, the enemy lied but I said, “Yes.”

Man: Yeah

Katia: Okay?

Together: So, it’s a partnership there. And so, we’ve got to break agreement. We’ve got to say, “Lord, I repent for this judgement. Who am I putting myself in the judgment seat? I don’t know what’s going on, and thank God I don’t have to be the judge of everything. And so, Lord, I relinquish my feeling of a right to judge, and I break agreement with this inner vow. I know that I do not have the power to do anything different to any other human being. It’s by your grace alone that we stand.”

And so, when I started breaking these things, when I started repenting, when I started repenting of bitter expectations, of seeing the world through this faulty lens, I saw such beautiful freedom come. I made such beautiful relationships and friendships with guys where before, I’d kind of been a bit like, “Something is gonna happen. I don’t trust you, you’re gonna do something. If it’s not to me, you’re gonna break someone else’s heart.” It was that kind of negative view, and yet, there’s so much life where I’ve come from that now because I get to walk in friendships with guys and trust them fully and know that God, by His grace, is leading them as much as God, by His grace, is leading me. Does this make sense?

Together: Yes.

Kata: And so, I really wanna lead us now in doing some work on this because I can’t do this for you. And some of us will not ever have recognized some of the stuff that’s going on in our hearts because, often, we’re just not good at connecting with what’s going on internally.

And so, we’re gonna ask Holy Spirit to lead us in this moment, to lead us in showing us if we’ve judged anybody, if we’ve made inner vows against anybody, if we’ve got bitter expectations that have taken hold because of our judgment and inner vows. And then we’re gonna simply start repenting, breaking those things. It is breaking agreement with that judgment, releasing that person from that judgment, agreeing that grace should be on them as much as grace should be on you and walking free.

Sounds like something we can do?

Together: Yes.

Katia: Great. So, why don’t you close your eyes and start inviting Holy Spirit? Very simply the same as we did with forgiveness. Holy Spirit, will you show us any areas that we may have judged people?

Now, it might be a “legitimate thing,” and I say that in inverted commas. We’re not excusing people’s sin, but we don’t have to judge people’s sin. Jesus does that, we just walk away.

And so, Father, whatever it is that we’ve sinned, where we’ve kind of condemned someone for an action, I pray that you would bring that moment to our hearts. And Father, help us, give us courage to relinquish agreement with judgment, relinquish agreement with inner vows, and relinquish agreement with bitter expectations, in Jesus name. Come Holy Spirit.

And again, we invite the grace of God to rush in. Holy Spirit, where there have been judgments, where there have been inner vows, bitter expectations, I ask you, by your grace, that you would breathe those cobwebs, those toxic darts, even now, away from our hearts. That you would uproot bitter roots that have taken place in our hearts. And instead, that you would rush in with life, and grace, and freedom, in Jesus’ name. That Holy Spirit, we would come into places of deeper encounter with you.

And so, again, I wanna invite you, because I believe in the power of community. If you have responded to something about this section, would you just stand up? And we’re gonna pray for one another, we’re gonna speak grace and blessing over one another, we’re gonna pronounce freedom over one another.

I’m just gonna give you a few more moments because I’m sure there are more of us who’ve responded. This is not a moment to shy away, this is a moment to say, “Yes, I wanna step into the freedom of this. I do not wanna live in judgment anymore, I am not on the judgment throne, thank God for it. I live in the realm of grace and the realm of grace alone.”

And so, if you’ve got someone standing next to you, a lot of people are standing, so maybe, just put a arm to the person on your right, to your person on your left. But I would love every person who is standing to have a hand on them. We’re gonna speak blessing over you, in the name of Jesus, where there have been judgments, and inner vows, and bitter expectations. We thank you, Father, that you breathe freedom, that you come and your love, and your mercy, and your grace, and you break this cycle of these things. In the name of Jesus, we say that these cycles will not go round and round, that what we have judged will not come back on us, but in Jesus’ name, the wonderful grace of the Father steps in.

And so, cycles are broken now in the name of Jesus, not to be reaped, not to be seen again in our lives. And so, we speak grace, upon grace, upon grace, upon grace on every life in this room, every person standing, in Jesus’ name. I speak the grace, and the blessing, and the peace of the Father over you, in the name of Jesus. Amen.

Together: Amen.

Katia: Great stuff.

Everyone still happy?

Together: Yeah.

Katia: Last one.

So, last area that I wanna look at is demolishing strongholds.

Now, strongholds are habits and patterns of thinking that we often don’t even recognize. If you imagine a car stuck in some mud, the more that car tries to move, the more it gets stuck in that rut and the tire tracks get deeper, and deeper, and deeper. And no matter how hard that car tries to maneuver, there isn’t going anywhere else except for those tire tracks now because it’s really deep in the mud. Can you see that picture in your mind?

That’s what strongholds are like. Because it’s a pattern of thinking that gets reinforced again, and again, and again, and again. So the mud, those tire tracks get deeper, and deeper, and deeper ingrained in us. It becomes our natural habit of thinking about a certain thing, but in reality, it becomes the lens that we see the world through. Clear?

Together: Yes.

Katia: So the thing about strongholds is sometimes it can feel like they’re such a huge thing. And the enemy loves to reinforce strongholds with his lies. In fact, really, I believe the Bible teaches us that strongholds is where the enemy likes to sink his hooks. So, I’m just gonna sidetrack for a moment, just bear with me.

But I just wanna say this because I think we get this wrong, often, in churches when the Bible talks about demonization and never talks about demon possession. The enemy does not get to own any human being, at all, because God made every human being. And whether human beings are fallen or not, they belong to Jesus, full stop. The enemy doesn’t get to own them.

And there’s that story that is told in the New Testament of the man where the demons set up home. And we think about that as if that story is about that human being, that the home of that demon was the human being. That’s simply not true because the demon never gets to fully possess a human being, because demons don’t own us. Strongholds is where the enemy gets his hooks in. And when the Bible talks about demonization, it doesn’t mean that every person with strongholds is demonized, just to clarify, but I’m just saying this because I want us to get it right in church circles. No one is ever demon-possessed. Demons sometimes hook on to strongholds. Okay?

And so, when we’re praying for people for deliverance, let’s not make it a bigger thing than it is because no devil, no demon, gets to own a human being, ever, full stop.

Simply, what we’re doing is unhooking the enemy’s hooks from a stronghold. And the best way to do that, often, isn’t the power encounter of the moment, although we see that very biblically, where you cast out demons. But I like a more fun way of doing it, which is a truth encounter, because when we understand the lie of the stronghold, the stronghold comes crumbling down, and there simply is no home for the enemy to get his hooks in to. Makes sense?

Which is why truth sets us free, because when we come into an encounter with Jesus, who is the truth, and when he sheds his light on to the things, the wrong habits of thinking that we have, strongholds simply crumble. And honestly, it’s like they’re like puffs of smoke. Sometimes the enemy can make you feel like a stronghold is a brick cement castle that is a fortress that you can’t defeat. And then, when it comes to praying through it, repenting through it, you realize that castle, that fortress that you’ve always seen, was actually made of cardboard and a puff of wind of grace and it’s broken very quickly.

And so, strongholds or not, something for us to fear or something for us to be really worried about, but it is something for us to take authority over and walk in freedom from. 2nd Corinthians 10 says, “Though we walk in the flesh, we’re not waging war according to the flesh. For the weapons of our warfare are not of the flesh but have divine power to destroy strongholds.” You already have everything you need to destroy any stronghold in your life and in anyone else’s. We’re already equipped with the armor. It’s ready to go, it’s simply done as we engage with what Jesus has already given us.

We destroy arguments, every lofty opinion raised against the knowledge of God, and take every thought captive to obey Christ. So, we don’t have to put up with strongholds. We don’t have to live with these habits of thinking. No matter how many years you’ve had that lens on, Jesus walks with us into freedom. And listen, from my experience, and I’ve done a fair amount of pastoral care and counseling in the last 15 years, from my experience, demolishing strongholds happens in two ways, and usually, both things happen for the people. One is that there’s a powerful moment and there’s an initial breaking, and the second is a process of stewarding a new habit and learning to walk in the truth of that.

And so, I’m gonna talk us through both things and I’m gonna encourage you, if any of this makes sense to you or hits home to you, to do both what we did tonight and to walk this through in stewardship when you get home, over the next few weeks.

I just wanna highlight, and you might wanna write these down, some common themes in strongholds. And often, these interlink. And when you look at, kind of, wonderful giants, spiritual giants in counseling, they repeat these themes again, and again. This seems to be what comes up most in people. Six strongholds. Rejection, abandonment, unworthiness, fear, shame, and control. Rejection, abandonment, unworthiness, fear, shame, and control.

And we need to recognize that a stronghold is formed by two things, and both things are necessary. One is enemy lies, two is our agreement. Those things come together. And when those things come together in agreement, then, a stronghold can form, over time, as we repeatedly, agree with that same lie of the enemy.

So, I wanna tell you a little bit of my story to bring this home, and I’ll give you another example as well.

Actually, let me tell you my friend’s story first. So, my friend, actually, he was talking about this, the first time I heard all about this. He was telling me his story, and it was about his story of being sent to boarding school when he was five. Lovely family, loved by his family, they thought they were doing the right thing. But when he was sent to boarding school, the enemy started whispering lies to him and telling him, “You’re here because, actually, your parents don’t really want you around.” And slowly, but surely, the more the enemy lied to him, the more he, kind of, allowed that lie to sink in. And it was a lie of utter rejection.

“Your parents don’t really love you, and that’s why they sent you here. And they don’t really want you back, and actually, they don’t really look forward to holidays because they don’t really want you.” And this thing kept being reinforced. And the more he heard the enemy lie, the more at the ripe old age of five, bless him, this thing took root as he continued to agree and think, “Yeah, that makes sense. They wouldn’t have sent me here otherwise.”

And so, this stronghold of rejection started to take root. But as I said, strongholds often interlink. And it’s pretty rare, actually, to see one stronghold working in isolation because it often has siblings that come up. And so, as this stronghold of rejection started to sink in his heart, a second stronghold of unworthiness started to be built up too. And a stronghold that said, “Oh, well, there’s obviously something wrong with me.” And the enemy is saying, “Yes, yes, you’re on to something, that’s exactly right, there’s something wrong with you. That’s why your family rejected you.”

And so, this then started being built. And this poor kid, by the time he’s six or seven, is living with a stronghold of rejection and a stronghold of unworthiness that is so strong in his heart he doesn’t know what to do with it, but his entire lens of the world now comes through a place of rejection and a place of unworthiness.

On top of unworthiness, then came fear, because now he started thinking, “Well, if my parents did this and there’s something wrong with me, then this is what my life is gonna be like. And my whole world is gonna be this horrible thing where no one likes me because I’m, obviously, unlovable.”

And so, this thing of fear started to be built in his heart, just as securely as rejection and unworthiness. And the enemy, of course, loving every minute of this, kept telling him, “Yes, the future is not gonna be good for you. There’s nothing to look forward to, you better be scared of what’s coming, boy.”

And so, this was his experience until he met Jesus. And Jesus starts speaking to him and telling him, “These are lies, these are lies. I have created you for a wonderful future. You don’t need to be afraid of what’s coming because I love you, because unworthiness is not something that I’ve put on you.” And slowly, but surely, brick by brick, the cardboard fortress came falling down as Jesus breathed grace into where the enemy and this boy, by agreement, had built strongholds.

And really, what was built, that became a pattern of his view of the world over many years, came down over some months. There was an initial sense of life as he met Jesus, and he recognized this is lies, but he needed to unlearn that way of thinking. He needed to learn, he needed to get some friends and help get that car out of that rut and start moving it in a different direction.

And really, my experience of strongholds and, really, walking in freedom came…and if you were in the first session that I did in this series of Link, you will have heard me say when I was at the Leadership School of Ministry with the Catch the Fire guys, and in one of the sessions, I think it was the one after demolishing strongholds, God started speaking to me and started putting his finger on some strongholds in my own life. And he started showing me, and I referred to this in the first session, how when I was born, I was born with a medical condition that made me stand out, physically.

And all through my childhood years, my mom would try to help me with it. And bless her, she was doing the right thing, the best thing. But actually, the enemy jumped on what my mom was doing and made me feel like I was somehow wrong, that somehow, my mom was ashamed of me, that she was saying, “Oh, this thing is horrible, let me change you.” And that’s not what she was doing. I know that now, but at the time, that’s what happened in my heart. There was a sense of, “You are somehow shameful because you weren’t made perfect.”

And then, so on that stronghold of shame that started being built in my heart, came a sibling of unworthiness, and so the enemy started lying to me. Now, I wanna tell you, I was raised in a wonderful Christian family. My parents loved me, they raised me in Jesus. I can’t remember a day that I wasn’t saved. I technically, probably, became a Christian when I was about three, got baptized in the spirit when I was about six. So, this isn’t like I was in a terrible scenario and all of these things were happening, I was actually, living a very wonderful, privileged life, I know that. But all of this stuff was going under the surface, and I didn’t even know it.

And so, this stronghold of unworthiness started being built in me, where I really believed, somehow, I am not lovable enough, even by God, so he made me this way. That was what I believed. And that lie took hold. And, of course, the enemy is cheering that lie on as loudly as he can, and reinforcing it as loudly as he can, in whatever situation he can.

So, any scenario where something went wrong or where I did something embarrassing, the enemy would jump on that and say, “Yes, see, that’s because you were made faulty. You need to understand that, that you are less than the other people, and so you’re not worthy. And even though people tell you God loves you and he does, because he’s really good, it’s not because you’re any good. It’s just because he’s that good.” And so, even the love of God became something that became different from what most people understood it because it was like, “Wow, God is so amazing, he loves me. I’m filthy, and awful, and terrible, but he’s great because he loves me.” That’s not the gospel that is preached in the Bible.

God sent His Son because He loved you so you were bought at a great price. Which means, to him, you were worth a great price. And so, in this conference, Scott was so kind to me. He literally, it felt like this thing was in a dark place in my heart. I didn’t know it existed. By the time I went to this conference, I’d been ministering for about seven-eight years. I’ve been in pastoral care for at least that long. I’d done loads of counseling up to that point. I didn’t know this thing was there. And then, Holy Spirit, so kindly, just, pup, turned the light on. And boom, everything changed for me, because I’m like, “That’s a lie. I know that’s a lie.”

As soon as the light of Holy Spirit was shone on it, that stronghold crumbled. Because I was so aware the enemy is evil and I have been ingrained with him all this time, unwittingly. Just saying “yes” to the enemy’s lies, lies that I know are simply ridiculous.

And so, in that conference, God set me free. But I had to learn to steward that, I had to learn to steward how I saw myself and how I spoke about myself because unworthiness makes you talk rubbish over yourself. You keep agreeing with that thing.

And I have to be honest with you, I have to keep learning that. And it’s wonderful having Julian in my life because he tells me and we do this for each other because it’s a good thing. And do this in your communities, catch each other saying lies about ourselves. And Julian catches me and goes, “Sorry, can you say that again? Just the truth of it this time.”

Man: That’s good, I love it.

Katia: And so I have to…you know, when I say to him, “Oh, I look rubbish.” “Sorry, what did you say?” And I know exactly what he’s saying, “Oh no, I don’t know rubbish, Jesus made me great.” Whatever it is. “Oh, that was the worst preacher ever, it was such a waste of time.” “Sorry, what did you say?” It’s a good thing to do because we all need to do it for each other because we all have the elements of this. This isn’t something that’s unique. Listen, these six things are the six most common things that all of humanity works through.

And so, all of us, at different moments, have to deal with these things. But I know that, for me, shame and unworthiness were something that I just hadn’t seen. And the reality is they grew the sibling of control because shame often partners with control because you wanna control how people see you because you’re so ashamed of who you really are.

And so, Jesus started unraveling those things, so kindly, so beautifully. And of course, it’s a journey, but I can tell you, “Wow, it’s so good to feel free from the rubbish of this thing, from the toxins that this thing was constantly feeding into my life.

And so, I want us to do some work for the last time this evening.

Now, if you didn’t write the common themes, I wanna ask you to write them now because you’re gonna do some work on them. So, unless you’re able to remember the six, which is totally fine. But so, we’re talking about rejection, abandonment, unworthiness, fear, shame, and control. Rejection, abandonment, unworthiness, fear, shame, and control.

And I wanna say, rejection and abandonment are similar but they’re slightly different. Rejection feels more like an active thing, that someone has, actively, rejected you. Often, with abandonment, it feels like a passive thing. It’s often like parents who were there but not really there. That, often, takes hold of abandonment rather than rejection because you don’t feel like someone actively rejected you but, somehow, passively, you found yourself alone.

So, I just wanna lead us into a thing where we’re asking Holy Spirit, “Holy Spirit, simply, can you highlight if any of these things are having a role in our thinking. If any of these things have become a little stronghold, that Holy Spirit, you can easily take down because we wanna repent of our agreement.” And really, I wanna encourage us, we’re not abdicating responsibility when we do this. You and I, I did this, I agreed with those lies, okay?

And so this is our moment to say, “Oh, the enemy is so rubbish, it’s all his fault.” He’s a liar, yes, but we also bring agreement. And so, in this moment, we’re gonna repent for our partnership in those strongholds. We’re gonna repent for agreeing with the rubbish lies that the enemy has been feeding us and, in fact, reinforcing those lies ourselves. And so we’re gonna ask Holy Spirit to show us if any of these strongholds have taken root, and then I want you to ask Holy Spirit where that stronghold came from. Because not only do we wanna identify strongholds, but we wanna identify their origins. And the reason for that is it’s really helpful to go back to that place and see what Jesus was doing and see what Jesus was originally saying over that place. And then, we’re gonna repent for believing the lie, whatever the lie is attached to that stronghold.

And I want you, in that moment, to ask Holy Spirit to show you the truth instead. So, for me ,very simply, God showed me unworthiness, he showed me that the root, the origin of that was from when I was really young, when I believed that I wasn’t somehow, lovable enough, which is why he made me faulty, which is all a huge lie, but anyway. So that was the origin. And then, God showed me, of course, that the lie is that I’m not lovable and somehow, he made me faulty. And the truth is that he loves me dearly, and the enemy tried to take me out, but God, in His kindness, restored me. Yeah?

And so, what we do in that moment, as we repent of the lie, as we start agreeing with the truth, this is a moment of power and breakthrough, but the stewarding of that comes where we keep breaking that lie and agreeing with the truth. Now, it might mean that you need to go home, and for the next few weeks, every morning, consciously, intentionally say, “I break my agreement with this lie that I’ve believed for many, many years. And in Jesus’ name, I choose to agree this truth.”

And I would encourage you to do that out loud. And it might be that you’ve been believing 1 lie, it might be that Holy Spirit shows you 50 lies. I wanna encourage you, on a daily basis, out loud, because there is power in our words. I really wanna encourage you because there is something about changing the ruts of those tires that they’ve sunk in, and it is about unraveling that mindset. And so, every morning, I wanna encourage you, identify the lie out loud, break agreement with it, and then partner with the truth instead that should fill the space of that lie. Does that make sense?

Together: Yes.

Katia: But so, in this moment, let’s close our eyes. Last part. Holy Spirit, I ask you to put your finger on any strongholds that have taken root in our hearts.